Wet Palms Episodes 1 3 Review

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Wet Palms: Episodes 1-3Jet Set
Director: Matthew Moore
Reviewed by: Louis
1/30/2005 comments link


Wet Palms... where shall I begin? I have history with this series. I saw the script when it was still floating around the different gay porn studios — and it was hilarious! Sort of like if John Waters had been hired to create Dynasty.

Then the movie came out, through its unusual release schedule (at first, via streaming video on NakedSword), and people bitched that it didn't contain enough sex! What was this, a sex comedy or a porn?! Oh, yeah, a porn.

In the DVD version, just released by Jet Set, that problem has been remedied, as each episode is 40% longer and the addition is entirely sex.

Wet Palms starts out with the mysterious Lucky Hanson checking into the Wet Palms gay resort (if you've ever been to the San Vicente Inn in West Hollywood, you've seen it!) Bret Wolfe plays the hilarious front desk employee and all-around chief of staff for the resort, Brady Littleton. He makes the most of his role and practically explodes off the screen. I laughed out loud twice in the first 10 minutes. (Not that that's unusual when watching porn, but it's usually for entirely the wrong reasons.)

Gabriel Knight, in contrast to Wolfe, plays his Lucky Hanson as a smoldering refugee from The O.C. — and does a damn good job at it. He has a career ahead of him in series television — if those silly TV people can get past the whole porn thing. And I guess they can — witness Paris Hilton.

(Much to my chagrin, both actors were left out of the nominations at the Gay VN Awards — they wuz robbed! Though also-good Michael Soldier and Brad Benton were nominated from this series, not to mention Jack Shamama and Michael Stabile for their screenplay.)

Cody Cash plays Tripp, the poolboy, and the sexy Bostoner is as fuckable as ever. He's perfect for the part of the shiftless, manipulative Tripp, in his orange Speedos and with his smug glances that are all about sex in a hundred different ways at once. No wonder he got that Freshmen cover!

Wet Palms divides its time between the resort itself and the offices of JettSetter Magazine (conveniently located in the nearby L.A. Design Center), where Brad Benton's Tucker Bang works for over-the-top queen-bitch Simon Jett (Michael Soldier), whose hobby is ruining people.

While Benton and Soldier are both excellent, now may be a good time to mention the varying degrees of acting talent displayed in Wet Palms. The next scene, between Jason Ridge and Ethan Marc (who is manipuating Ridge's famous Bubble Underwear model character into bed for money he needs) leaves a touch to be desired — it's acted at about the level of an American Idol outtake.

On the plus side, one thing the two do know how to do is fuck on camera. And here is where the extended footage cums in handy, as the foreshortened grudge fuck from the online version becomes an all-out battle. I'm surprised nobody draws blood. Jason ends up fucking Ethan Marc practically to death.

At the start of Episode 2, the mysterious Lucky — who may or may not be the identical twin brother of another character — is broke and on his own in West Hollywood. What's a gorgeous hunk to do? Luckily, Brady Littleton offers him a room to sleep in.

But first, that room gets used for an extra fuck not included in the streaming video, between hung-like-a-horse bottom Bret Wolfe and hung-like-a-horse top Paolo Cortez. Bret goes nuts for Paolo's pounding, with an edge of desperation in his voice that reflects the thanklessness of Brady Littleton's job.


Wolfe & Cortez Get It On


Lucky becomes a handyman around Wet Palms and lets slip that he may have been in jail. Meanwhile, Simon is still hectoring overworked employee Tucker ("I have a degree in journalism from Columbia, to do some blowhard shitwork?" he asks himself.)

Tucker seeks relief in the mysterious Jett Office Wanker who lurks in the building's restrooms — stunt cock Chad Donovan, whose face is never shown. The scene is a little odd, not only because of weird repeats added to Donovan's dialogue track, but because Tucker just kneels on the floor staring at Donovan's dick, not sucking it like any sane person would. Plot development? Tucker does wind up with huge amounts of sperm all over his nicely-pressed button-down shirt, which gets him in trouble at work and at home — so maybe yes. But he could have at least sucked it a little bit!


Stunt Cock Chad Donovan & Brad Benton


Meanwhile, Lucky Hanson is doing his job removing used condoms from the Wet Palms hot tub — ew? Rob Romoni's Chase Walker — president of Bubble Underwear — is luckily on hand to offer a robe when Lucky accidentally falls in. One thing leads to another and, much like Lana Turner at the Schwab's soda counter, Lucky is discovered — for his ass! Turns out he's a perfect size 31 — Walker can spot one a mile away — and offers Lucky an on-the-spot ass modeling contract at $300 an hour. We should all be so "Lucky."

Ashton Sorenson remains behind to fulfill Walker's sexual needs, as Lucky is straight. Lengthy mutual sucking ensues, and Sorenson's smooth, tan ass is a sight to behold. Surprisingly, Romoni winds up bottoming out for the boyish, blond Sorenson, in another scene that has been extended from the streaming version. Sorenson works up quite a sweat, and winds up spurting jets all over Romoni.

In a final plot development, Peter (Ridge) finds Benton's cummy shirt and goes on a drug (and possibly prostitution) binge as a result.

Part 3 opens with a moment of great mystery — Cody Cash, who does some excellent John Waters-style acting here, cleaning a filthy room (there are even crumpled newspapers covering the bulb of a torchiere lamp.) He opens a toolbox and golden light gleams out, lighting Cash's face like the box were the Ark of the Covenant.

I'll spoil the surprise, the box turns out to be full of sex toys, and the blond bottom pleasures himself with them and the room he's supposed to clean gets just a little bit dirtier — especially when Ashton Sorenson shows up and orders the dildo out of Cody's ass. "Well, I've never!" Sorenson harrumphs.

Though he may not be much on housecleaning, Cash certainly has a ton of energy for dick sucking, and polishes Sorenson's cock like a pro. This all-oral scene is also considerably extended from the online version, and let's just say that Cody winds up with a bit of "egg" on his face.

ChiChi La Rue then makes a Special, Non-Drag Guest Appearance as a limo driver for Lucky, as Lucky departs Wet Palms for an important appointment at the Bubble Underwear offices. Hm, I wonder who the next Bubble Boy is going to be? Either that, or maybe Chase Walker (Mr. Romoni) just plans to use Lucky's bubble and throw it away!

Meanwhile, evil Simon Jett (Michael Soldier) has incriminating photos of Ridge and Marc's drug-and-fuckfest which would ruin Ridge's Bubble Boy career, putting boyfriend Brad Benton on the spot. Benton can either call Simon "Mr. Jett" and submit to a humiliating punishment fuck involving a weight machine and room entirely lit in red, like those lights they use to keep French fries warm, or Ridge's character will suffer the consequences. The things we do for love!

And let's just say, either they found some stunt weights, or Brad Benton is pretty damn strong! Though at first Benton resists, he does a good job of getting into Soldier's dominating charms, and ends up spanked and fucked in this only S&M scene of the series so far — loving every minute of it.

Special treat: check out The Making of Wet Palms (on Disc 2) to see all your favorite stars early in the morning and behind the scenes. Watching the writers "put on their faces" was a special treat. Lighting Director Marty Brown's gorilla-shaking-tree description of the art of filmmaking was priceless. And Rod Barry's penis singing "I Love Rock N' Roll" (in imitation of Brad Benton's voice) — well, there are not words.

DVD Extras, Parts 1-3: Auditions, Jump To Sex Scenes, Trailer, Character Profiles, Interviews (Cody Cash, Rod Barry, Chad Donovan, Rob Romoni, Ethan Marc), The Making of Wet Palms, Outtakes, Internet Tours.



 Rent Wet Palms: Episodes 1-3 and other movies on MaleFlixxx
 Rent Wet Palms: Episodes 1-3 and 1000's of other movies on NakedSword

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