Spyboy Review

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Reviewed by: Louis
1/25/2005 comments link

Chris Cooke is truly one of the cutest new stars to come along in days. (If you don't believe me, drool over this Chris Cooke Gallery for a moment.) In Spyboy he plays James Bonk, an agent for Her Majesty's Secret Service, whose 9-inch (okay, 8-inch) weapon gives him a License to Fuck.

First up is the movie's version of Miss Moneypenny, Bonk's secretary, a blond hottie who's busy at the office making photocopies of his ass when Bonk arrives for his next assignment. I'm happy to say, innuendo quickly devolves into swapping blowjobs in the storage room. "Moneypenny" sucks and pulls Bonk's cock quite aggressively, but I guess you get a little carried away when you get a grope at Europe's hottest spy. And, Bonk has a cock like a traffic cone, in addition to that handsome face we already talked about. The sex these two have is ultra-energetic, kind of like if you played a Bel Ami movie at 2x speed.

It's also interrupted by a phone call on speaker: "Lovering, is Bonk coming?" "Any moment now, sir!" the secretary answers. Indeed! When Bonk finally meets his boss, he apologizes: "Sorry, Boss, we were just going over some of the new office equipment."

About ten minutes in, I was surprised to find that Spyboy has a plot! Boss tells Bonk something about an organization in Iraq, D.I.K., that has used a special nerve agent in an attack. "These men died in ecstasy! Pleasured to death... [by] Orgazmadrine, so powerful just one molecule can pleasure a man to death!"

(Oddly, I'm not sure the filmmakers were aware that the US Government has actually worked on chemicals to cause homosexuality and/or hypersexuality in enemy troops, since the revelation just came out.)

Chris Cooke is actually a pretty good actor. He can speak volumes with a cocked eyebrow, in addition to being incredibly smooth and hot. And he's got the same power of persuasion as that other 007 over his objects of desire. Soon he's "Bonking" a hotel clerk as he carries out his mission, a scruffy-looking Dutch boy (I think.) Their sex is more slowed-down than the earlier scene; I would characterize it as Bel Ami with an edge. Here we find out that Bonk is not all top, as you might assume of Britain's most powerful spy. All it takes it one cute hotel clerk to roll him over, and the scene suddenly takes a turn for the very hot. (James gets his turn, too, of course.)

James Bonks Hotel Clerk

Director Max Lincoln went above and beyond the call of duty for Spyboy, getting permission to film on and around the tram in the Swiss Alps made famous in the movie Moonraker (?). Only this time, "Jaws" thankfully doesn't bite through the cable. I suppose actor Richard Kiel was too busy to accept the part.

In the next scene, after a few plot contortions, Bonk gets very busy in a shower with a dark-haired, perhaps Indian boy who you can tell is really Bonk's type. Once again, ultra-energetic blowjobs reign as the Young and the Supple apply mouths to penises, and after that, some once again truly hot fucking. Sometimes one forgets how much energy these young kids have. I guarantee you'll wish you were one of these guys. Maybe both.

But wait, there's more! A three-way with Bonk and two other young studs reminds us just how hot the guys are in Europe. Stunning. I don't quite know why European porn companies are able to get young guys this good looking and American studios, for the most part, are not. Maybe it's just my own personal taste. One quibble is that this scene could have used slightly better lighting (it's set in some kind of dungeony place), but I suppose in Europe all buildings are made of cobblestones with small windows.

To sum up Spyboy: excellent production values, cute boys who actually speak English, an amazing script (for porn), and even a bonus biographical interview with Chris Cooke — I can see why Eurocreme is the most popular porn company in Britain. Props to Hot House for bringing them across the pond!

Featuring: Chris Cooke, Martin Konig, Ryan Williams, Tom Jordan, Ben Slater, Stefan Anderson, Daniel Leger, Connor Axon, Chris Young, Lucca Valentino, James Alexander, Siegfried Kaufman.

Extras: Canis' Trick, Chris Cooke Up Close, Swiss Hotel Photoset, Dance Bar Photoset, Bonk & Canis Photoset.

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