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Private Lowlife Review

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Private Lowlife	Hot House

Director: Michael Clift
Reviewed by: J Klink
4/11/2007 comments link

Private Lowlife opens with a campy 1950's clip promoting military service. "When you enter service, ready or not, the physical training begins immediately... you've got to be able to take it. Your body's got to be able to take it... [you have to] carry heavy loads... use your body skillfully. Yes, it can be tough for you if you aren't ready for instant action. In service, a lot will depend on your physical readiness."

The same could be said for gay porn! Hot House has to be given points for the cleverness of their opener—and the fact that they have given all the models realistic military haircuts. Francesco D'Macho, with his brilliant blue eyes, stars as a buck private, and his first mission is sucking tight, lean Matt Cole. I'm not sure Matt's goatee is military-issue, but he definitely makes a good gay porn soldier. D'Macho devours Matt's dick for several minutes as Cole grunts and groans appreciatively.

Francesco D'Macho

Matt Cole

Francesco D'Macho & Matt Cole

Things get a bit rougher when Private D'Macho turns Private Cole over on his stomach, on a regulation Army desk, and tongue-fucks his ass. Just listening to Matt moan and groan I was getting turned on—and so was D'Macho, if his throbbing dick is any indication.

Next D'Macho uses spit for lube when he gives Cole a butt-pounding that should get them both promoted—or demoted, depending your point of view. D'Macho is a hunk, with a lot of muscle but a cute, masculine face to go with it, not one of those strange steroid faces you see sometimes. Cole is in utter ecstasy getting plowed here, it's the scene to beat.

But wait, there's more. Ultra-energetic Matt soon turns Francesco on his side and plows him as well, during which Francesco has to keep his hands off his fat uncut meat to keep from cumming. Now it's really the scene to beat. Francesco cums sitting on Matt's cock in what looks (and sounds) like a very satisfying climax.

Marc Williams

Kent North

Next up, Sergeant Marc Williams leads a small troop of three guys (Kent North, Kyle Lewis, and Nick Horn) in calisthenics. But those don't last long since Marc quickly pulls North aside and makes him suck his cock. Then Sgt. Marc orders Lewis to suck Horn's cock as well.

Slobber dribbles down Lewis' jaw and chest as he repeatedly deep-throats Horn's stiff dick. Williams has an astounding meat, and when Lewis and North switch positions in the cocksucking fest, Lewis is a pro at deep-throating Williams' whole length and girth.

Soon the submissive Lewis is on his back while Kent North eats his ass, and Williams' and Horn's cocks do battle over the prize of his mouth. Finally super-buffed Williams plows Kyle Lewis while North gets hammered by Nick Horn. I'm not sensing ultimate chemistry on North's part toward Horn, but North is a trooper (no pun intended.) Watching Williams' thick dick (not to mention his perfect, round ass) as he pummels Lewis is a treat. Director Michael Clift gets some good shots of Lewis' stretched-open hole when Williams periodically pulls out.

Eventually Lewis lies down on a bench and the other three studs furiously jerk their cocks over him. Horn has the biggest load, though Lewis shoots quite a bit himself.

The next scene starts out with hyper-aggressive Scott Swann forcing Enzo Grimaldi, another Private, to suck his dick. "Don't fight it! Do what you're told," he tells Grimaldi, who seems a bit resistant to the activity. Swann ends up fucking Grimaldi over a trough urinal, which Grimaldi seems to enjoy a bit more than the sucking. They fuck in a couple different positions, ending with Grimaldi cumming while standing, onto a prone Swann. In summary: if you like military-style vocalizing (Swann's) you should enjoy this scene.

Next is an alleged rape (though you can't rape the willing), with D'Macho and Arpad Miklos confronting sultry Ken Browning as he sleeps on his bunk (ass-up, of course.) Before you can say, "Ten-hut!" D'Macho has his cock in Browning's mouth and Miklos is deep-rimming his ass. I never knew quite how much dexterity Arpad Miklos had in his tongue until I saw him eat D'Macho's ass with it, which he does next, as both Browning and D'Macho get on their hands and knees side-byside on Browning's cot.

It looks like Miklos is going to have to do double duty as a top. With that dick, he seems up for it. First a very vocal Browning gets nailed, though he does a lot of the humping himself, using Miklos' cock as a pogo stick. D'Macho's turn finds him very hard, and though he lets Miklos do the thrusting himself, maybe it's better that way. I think D'Macho might be this year's bottom to beat.

Arpad Miklos

Butt wait—in a moment of aggression, D'Macho turns to bunk-mate Browning and shoves him on his stomach, forcing his dick into Browning's ass as Miklos makes and end-run around the boys and sticks his cock down D'Macho's throat. Highlight: watching D'Macho's slightly hairy, extremely rounded ass-globes clench and swivel as he fucks Browning deep.

Miklos finishes off Browning by fucking him on his back, putting him in position for D'Macho to rub out a very thick load on Browning's face moments after Browning shoots his own wad.

Alex Collack

The final scene takes place in the base barber shop, as barber Kent North leaves his client Kirk Ziegler in order to "take a piss." Another customer, Alex Collack, notices Ziegler has been rubbing his crotch and swoops in to give him some head. After some fucking and sucking that is pretty by-the-numbers, the scene ends on a hot note: Alex Collack has been sitting on Ziegler's cock in the barber chair, jacking himself, but takes his hand away so he won't cum. Ziegler reaches around from behind and pulls on Alex' ample dick, causing him to cum in only a few strokes. Then Ziegler lays back and shoots a geyser onto his own chest.

I can't end this review without rhapsodizing for a moment on how hot Alex Collack is. He's the perfect blend of muscular—but not too muscular—good looking—but not too pretty—and ruggedly masculine—but not obnoxious about it. Love Alex Collack!

In summary, if you are at all into military dudes, you will enjoy Private Lowlife.