Polish Pleasures Review

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Polish PleasuresOh Man
Director: Jean-Marc Prouveur
Reviewed by: Louis
12/12/2004 comments link

Polish Pleasures from Oh Man! Studios bills itself as "intensely erotic, hauntingly poetic." But the description on the back gets a little more specific: "It is a dance with Polish devils, a dance with the most beautiful, fiendishly-endowed angels of darkness. A dance that will end with your destruction."

Uh-oh, my destruction? Maybe I'd better not watch it!

I decide to take my chances and pop the DVD in anyway. Immediately, it is evident this movie is well-made. Violin music haunts all the opening scenes — and a professional violinist (face covered, fat hard-on sticking out) is actually playing the instrument. Hot.

One luscious Polish guy masturbates to orgasm, outdoors in the warm Polish rain. Director Jean-Marc Prouveur has a talent for finding guys who can actually shoot big loads, unlike some American films where lots of the muscle-gods just kinda dribble.

Though the models in Polish Pleasures are not as boyish and sweet as those young things from Bel Ami, they also don't have the over-muscled look of some American models. Instead, they are universally-hot, masculine younger guys with muscle that looks natural.

Two guys meet up in an abandoned building and begin making out in silence. Both are incredibly cute, in fact one of them looks like a friend of mine I've had a crush on for years — Polish version. But enough about me.

One thing about Polish penises one begins to notice is that they are often a little curved, and the circumsizers in Poland seem to leave a bit more foreskin, so the dicks all look semi-cut, if they are cut at all. (Maybe Polish penises just have less foreskin in their natural state.) The sound of the falling rain adds some depth to the slurping and licking in this abandoned-building scene; I see what the cover means about "poeticism."

In the next scene, shot in what is apparently the Black Forest, it's a sunny day, and sounds of chirping birds instead of falling rain make up the soundtrack. Two guys are hiking independently, and both have to take a piss. Happily for watersports fans, the movie shows everything, up to the very last shake and the foamy puddle on the ground.

Hiking the Black Forest can become tiring, so one hiker stops to rest on a sawn-off tree stump. He also decides to masturbate, and is quickly discovered! I hope the big, bad wolf doesn't come along, because soon the clothes are off and these two blond-brown guys are slurping on each others' dicks. I would hate to see a wolf take a bloody chunk out of one of those bubble asses.

One thing to mention, maybe it's a Polish thing, but in addition to their bendy penises, almost all the guys in this movie have blondish-brown hair. Maybe this shade is caused by the lack of direct sunlight in overcast Poland.

Once again, in this second major scene, fountains of cum are shot. The director either must have asked how much these guys cum at the interview, or ensured they didn't jack off for a week beforehand. Anyway, loved it! Just say no to "dribbler" porn stars.

Almost without exception, the scenes in Polish Pleasures follow the suck/suck/rim/fuck paradigm — except for a final three-way, again in the abandoned building, which follows a more meandering sexual path. But I can't really complain since the director has done his job and found models who are incredibly hot, and showed them having drool-worthy sex.

And some of these guys look like they really know how to fuck, too. I predict a worldwide demand for Polish tops when this movie hits the shelves.

Starring: Tadek Mordzialek, Zygmult Hrysiewicz, Casimir Radomski, Leopold Frackowiak, Henry Fleischmann, Albert De La Havana, Stanislas Szcczesny, Giovanni Carreras and Introducing Oleh Grzegorski.

DVD Features: Photo Gallery, Cum Shot Gallery.

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