Huge Deposits Review

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Huge DepositsUnzipped Video
Director: Chi Chi LaRue
Reviewed by: Arly Dauber
3/1/2005 comments link


Buried amongst all the well-known names in the cast list of Huge Deposits — Chi Chi LaRue's new flick for Unzipped Video — is my newest crush: Jacob Slader.

Jacob Slader just did the hottest photo layout in the new Unzipped Magazine (March 2005 Issue), and the Elvish-tattooed, blond-haired/brown-eyed (my favorite!) thinking-man's twink is one of those guys you could just stare at and stare at. Hunk alert!

Anyway... Huge Deposits is set in the world of retail banking (sexy!) and opens with some expository delivered by Jeremy Jordan in a very John Waters-esque style (whether an intentional or accidental homage, I don't know):
Jeremy Jordan: This is what happens every day at the bank: Mr. [Rod] Barry drinks himself silly at the office!

Rod Barry (swigging): I hate this fuckin' bank.

Jeremy Jordan: The security guard flirts with us all day long. And the same quirky customers making deposits and withdrawals!
The "bank" set looks like it was assembled for a budget of about twelve dollars, but the fluorescent lighting is spot-on.

Soon it's five o'clock and Jeremy goes home to his boyfriend — Jacob Slader. Poor Jeremy has a lot of problems, with drunk Mr. Barry hitting on him and making his life a living hell. So Slader decides it will make Jeremy feel better to give Slader a blowjob.


Jeremy Jordan sucks Jacob Slader


I don't know if it made Jeremy feel better, but I know it made Slader feel better, and it also made me feel a whole lot better, so I'm judging the advice was on-target.

The fucking that follows is also way hot, with Slader slapping his dick hard against his hand, the couch, and just about everything else, and getting into a couple of the more unusual positions I've seen in porn as he lifts Jordan high in the air to munch on his ass. Then he proceeds to pound Jeremy hard for a good twenty minutes. You might think the tender twink's ass couldn't take quite so much, but you'd be wrong — he's rock hard the whole time, leading to a very intense, very real cum shot.

Meanwhile... drunken Rod Barry is urged to take a break from sexually harassing his employees and go get a massage. He agrees, as would I if my masseurs were Alex Lemonde and Andrew Rubio. We discover that Rod Barry has a really nice bubble ass, and Rubio spends quite a long time rubbing it, not to mention eating it. He could have spent all day, as far as I'm concerned.

Lucky masseur Lemonde gets to quit massaging when Mr. Barry decides he wants to suck Lemonde's cock and lick his balls instead. The oral action here is very hot, as Barry continues his work on Lemonde's balls and Rubio sucks Lemonde's — as always — super stiff dick. This steamy scene just gets hotter and hotter, going on for twenty minutes or so, with a triple fuck (Barry's in the middle, which I guess makes sense, being the client and all) among the highlights.

Poor Jeremy Jordan's work is never done: back at the bank, he must escort Nick Piston and Fredrick Ford back to their — don't laugh — safe deposit boxes. But Ford and Piston can't keep their hands off each other, so they never quite make it, and ripped Mr. Ford begins giving Piston a blowjob outside the vault.

Piston's got a thick, juicy pole that should be made into a dildo. Why not, everyone else's has? And Piston's dick actually deserves such attentions. During all this, Jordan looks on rather awkwardly (maybe just in character) and jerks himself off.

Though it's a little hard to believe these two bank customers could just ignore the blond boy masturbating in the corner, maybe they're just not into the twink thing. They do start spitting in each others' faces after a certain point; maybe they feel angelic Jeremy would not be into edge play.

As soon as The Biggest Bottom In Gay Porn is able to pump a load on himself and escape from his customers, he faces an extortion attempt: security guard Ricky Martinez and teller Kyle Lewis are going to rat on him and get him fired if he doesn't pony up some power-ass. Which he does. Ricky Martinez sucks his own cock, a feat not seen since by this reviewer since The Road To Temptation. Good times.

As far as I was concerned, the whole movie to this point had been dropping not-so-subtle clues that Mr. Barry had it in for little Jeremy, but really just wanted to fuck him. But I was wrong! The movie's Hollywood ending will throw you for a loop.

Starring: Jeremy Jordan, Alex Lemonde, Rod Barry, Ricky Martinez, Fredrick Ford, Andrew Rubio, Nick Piston, Jacob Slader and Kyle Lewis.

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