Buckleroos Part 1 Review

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BuckleRoos Part 1Buckshot DVD
Director: John Rutherford, Jerry Douglas
Reviewed by: Emo Ferrengi
10/10/2004 comments link


The DVD packaging alone gives BuckleRoos Part 1 a lot to live up to. Dean Phoenix won the cover (probably because this is his much-hailed return to porn after a 5 year break), and he's just — well, he's gorgeous. He's what prime-time soap stars would look like if the soaps were made explicitly for gay men. I could dwell on his every feature, but I think his fuzzy black sideburns are my absolute favorite.

Then there's Marcus Iron on the back. He's hunky and toned, his skin is beautiful and he's just — well, he's gorgeous, too. Suffice to say, these guys are such icons of sexy masculinity (with that hint of playful boyishness) you don't merely lust after them. It's almost like you could see yourself developing... feelings for them.

BuckleRoos Part 1 opens in what looks like the lushly green South, with a sweaty Dean Phoenix coming home to housemate Marcus Iron masturbating in bed. You can tell from the get-go a lot of effort was put into this film, as the camera stays on Iron while the sounds of Phoenix showering in the next room permeate the scene. The filmmakers actually employed... a sound editor! It's a little thing, but the lush sound does a great deal for the mood as Iron watches TV and yanks his sizeable crank. There are also "magic" camera angles in this scene that suggest removeable walls, or maybe just a very clever camera person.

The plot of BuckleRoos Part 1 revolves around a magical belt buckle tossed around by the mostly-silent Man In Black, Zak Spears (in a non-sexual role) that ensures its wearer will get laid. Spears is either supposed to be The Devil or some kind of traveling gay porn snake oil healer, maybe a little of both. And while the plot may be a bit thin, the dialogue scenes are not. This is probably the first porn I've seen where extensive dialogue is not painful to watch. In fact, I found I enjoyed the dialogue as much as the sex! (Admittedly, some of the actors are better than others — I'd single out Dean Phoenix for "top" honors, and Marcus Iron does an especially good job with his accent — sometimes.)

The film is ten minutes underway before full-on sex happens, as Dean Phoenix leads the very blond Josh Hardman up to the attic for a late-night blowjob. Phoenix has a beautiful dick to go along with his beautiful balls, a couple inches longer than it has any right to be. He has Hardman suck on and stretch the foreskin of his semi-cut in one of the scene's finer moments. In this scene, as elsewhere, props are due the soundtrack creator, who uses acoustic guitar and snare drums to craft something beyond normal porn music by orders of magnitude, a country-rock-folk sound that's not so twangy as to be distracting.

Keeping with the theme, Dean Phoenix finishes off Hardman by riding his ass standing up as if he were riding a bucking horse, both guys naked except for their cowboy boots and the jockstrap Hardman wears and Phoenix grips like a horse's saddle. You can tell that attic was broiling; Hardman's face and body are so flushed so he looks like he might burst a vein, but Phoenix's sweaty curls only make him look godlike.

Phoenix gets home in time to rustle late-sleeper Iron (naked and ass-up, of course) out of bed. By the way these two interact, it's obvious they belong together as a couple. Even strangers can tell; if only the star-crossed lovers realized it themselves!

No matter, Iron has some legal troubles to deal with first, as he gets pulled over on a country road and accused of smoking "devil weed" by California Highway Patrol officer Todd Maxwell. (Interesting that they're in California, since the actors are all trying to employ Southern accents — or maybe those are Stockton accents?)

Iron finds that his magic belt buckle puts Maxwell into a hypnotic state where he'll do anything Iron wants. Of particular hotness: Iron using the cop's nightstick to pull the cop's cock out of his Highway Patrol pants knock it around, before sucking it while making the cop suck the nightstick. This leads to a nightstick-plowing of Maxwell in the cab of Iron's pickup that I'm sure was not intended to remind anyone of Aileen Wuornos' (Charlize Theron's) brutal car-cab rape in the movie Monster.

Moving along, very cute newcomer Owen Hawk's accent needs a little work, and he speaks in an accent that sounds like Midwestern Chinese but with the g's dropped. "D'jou have any idear how tarred your dick gets herchikin'?" he asks when he shows up at the homestead, claiming to be Dean Phoenix's nephew.

I warmed up a lot to Hawk though in the scorching outdoor three-way with him, Brad Benton and Diego De La Hoya in a convertible red Cadillac, which Hawk recounts to his new housemates via flashback. The three in the convertible perform just about every combination of poles and holes — everyone here gets Lucky Pierre'd — and Brad Benton, in particular, seems to enjoy himself greatly. He could irrigate half of Texas with the amount of cum he sprays.

Just as interesting is what happens when the magic belt buckle gets handed off in the next scene to Arpad Miklos and Ricky Martinez. Did I mention both could suck their own dicks? Which is what they do. Definitely not something you see in a porn every day.

Jerry Douglas, who wrote the screenplay, obviously knows a bit about writing. He keeps characters apart we want to see together, giving us something to root for. And while much of porn could be chracterized by an utter lack of mystery and suspense, that's not the case in BuckleRoos Part 1. Throw Ricky Martinez and Arpad Miklos together and the audience expects them to fuck — it doesn't expect them to keep to their own twin beds and blow themselves. Whoa! Incidentally, young and limber Martinez does a particularly good job; I don't know if he just has a short torso or a big dick, or what.

The film ends with a slow-paced "orgy of the bartenders," starring top-notch talent Chris Wide, Edu Boxer, Jake Andrews, Mike Dasher, and Sam Shadon. The sultry scene reminded me of the hot bar-fuck in COLT's Big N' Plenty (partly since that scene featured two of the same actors — Boxer and Shadon. But moreso.)

Dean Phoenix and Marcus Iron have been invited to the gangbang, but watch from the sidelines, casually jerking off. The plot thickens as, aroused by the action, Iron and Phoenix suddenly lean towards each other and spontaneously kiss. In a nice touch, Phoenix's cowboy hat even falls off. They make out and cum and then look at each other, both shocked, and you know something's up.

Could it be love? I'm sure we'll find out in BuckleRoos Part 2.

Starring Buckshot Men Dean Phoenix, Marcus Iron, Arpad Miklos, Chris Wide, Ricky Martinez, Edu Boxer, Jake Andrews, Diego De La Hoya, Mike Dasher, Owen Hawk, Brad Benton, Todd Maxwell.



 BuckleRoos Part 1, DVD's, gear, clothing, calendars, books, photosets at BuckshotDVD.Com

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